Claire N. Barnes, MA: With Friends Like This...

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Fifteen years ago, my husband and I relocated to Northern California to begin our committed life journey together. I took the job as the director of a small, independent school, and quickly became acquainted with several of the board members. I spent a great deal of time with one young woman in particular, whose husband was a computer pioneer and on the cutting edge of social media.

I didn't quite understand all the implications at the time, but the husband had developed a "friendship" with a woman via the web, and the friendship was negatively affecting the couple's marriage. The whole Internet friendship scenario was new to all of us then, but fast forward 15 years and we now recognize social media has revolutionized how we connect with other human beings and how we develop our relationships -- often at the expense of our most intimate connections.

We used to say, one's lifelong friends could be counted on the fingers of one hand. But in this century it is a status symbol to boast about the number of Friends one has on Facebook or followers on Twitter. Further, millennial social media users are often motivated to use these impersonal, distant connections as a substitute for human interactions and private connections.

It is apparent to me the entire definition of "friend" has been completely altered. The Miriam Webster Online Dictionary defines friend as: "one attached to another by affection and esteem," and "a favored companion." I have fair amount of friends on Facebook, but we aren't all connected necessarily by affection and esteem, nor do we seek out each others companionship on a regular basis. I don't think the Facebook friends' definition has hit the dictionary yet.

When marriages are in trouble and adults are feeling misunderstood or under-valued by their intimate partner, it is all too easy to sit down in front of a computer, iPad or tablet and pour out your heart to someone who has no greater investment in the "friendship" than typing a short, sympathetic response. Then the fun begins -- the disclosures, the fantasizing, and in many cases, the meet-ups.

In 1980 (yes, 1980), Barbara Streisand and Barry Gibb sang poignantly of the potential dangers of these marital triangles when they recorded "What Kind of Fool." While writing this column, I listened to the song again, and found it heartfelt and relevant for the social media "friend" dilemma. Here is the second verse: "There was a world when we were standing still, And for a moment we were separated, And then you found her, You let the stranger in, Who's sorry now, Who's sorry now." (B. Gibb--Galuten, Barry Gibb, 1980)

Social media has made it all too easy to let the stranger in to marriages and interfere with the critical intimacy a couple needs to remain in tact. We now add social media to the list of potential difficulties in marriage, along with cheating, dishonesty, addictions, abuse, changes in priorities and financial problems.

So if you are struggling in a marriage and relying on an Internet friendship for intimacy, ask yourself these questions:

1) Does your in-person partner know about your Internet friend or is the friendship conducted in secret?
2) If the answer to #1 is NO, how would it affect your in-person relationship if the secret was revealed?
3) Do you take time away from your in-person relationship to devote time your internet friend?
4) When your children are older and have intimate partner difficulties, would you encourage them to copy your behavior?
5) Are you devoting more emotional energy to the needs of your internet friend than the needs of your in-person partner?

I lost track of my friend of 15 years ago, so I don't know how her relationship turned out -- if her marriage stayed together or if it did not. But I think the following quote by author Tony Horwitz would have offered wisdom then as it does now: "There are people one knows and people one doesn't. One shouldn't cheapen the former by feigning intimacy with the latter."

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Tornado Survivor, 5, Killed By Family Friend's Dog

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A 5-year-old tornado survivor was killed by the dog of a family friend whose house he had been staying at following the devastating May 20 storm in Moore, Okla.

The boy, whose name has not been released, died Sunday after he was attacked by a 150-pound Bullmastiff at a home in Jessieville, Ark. The attack occurred after the child had been crying in the home, according to NBC affiliate KARK.

"The child was putting on some shoes and was crying and upset," Garland County Deputy Scott Hinojosa told the station. "The dog possibly took that as being aggressive and at that time the child was attacked."

While a woman was calming the boy down, the dog came in from another room and lunged at him, according to KTHV. The woman tried to separate the two but was unsuccessful, so she called her husband for help. By the time he arrived, she had gotten them apart. The man then rushed the child to Mercy Hospital, where he was pronounced dead.

KATV reports the boy acted out against the female owner. The dog likely saw this as a threat and moved to protect its master.

The dog ran away from the home following the incident, but police later told KTHV that it was captured on Monday and was put down.

The boy and his 2-year-old sister had been staying with family friends in Jesseville as their parents worked to rebuild their home in Moore.

A county law fines owners $500 if their pet attacks a person or another animal, KATV notes. A community meeting was scheduled for Monday to discuss whether to ban breeds or enact mandatory rules like neutering, micro-chipping and containment. There has been strong opposition against some of these measures.

Bullmastiffs are powerfully built dogs with high intelligence and are known for their willingness to please, according to the American Kennel Club. They are considered ideal family pets and companions. The AKC describes the breed as "fearless and confident yet docile."

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Kanye's Listening Party Features 'Yeezus' Tracks, Lots Of Laughs & Some Very Famous Friends

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Kanye West on the mic at his "Yeezus" listening party.

Kanye West debuted "Yeezus," his sixth studio album, to a crowd of critics, fans and celebrities on Monday night at an event equal parts listening party and public art exhibition.

The festivities took place at Manhattan's Milk Studios, but rather than following the countless PR and fashion events that Mlik has hosted before, West instead chose the Meatpacking District building's loading dock. Attendees were let in one by one, a slow process that would have led one to believe that only a select few were being given the privilege of the record. That was not the case: The venue was open to the street, so anyone within earshot could hear the album which had hitherto been shrouded in secrecy, and anyone within eyesight could see the basic video imagery that went along with the audio.

That's in keeping with West's public -- and global -- debut of "New Slaves," but there's more to the theme than a simple stunt. Though the likes of Jay-Z, Beyonce, Busta Rhymes, Theophilus London, Timbaland and Q-Tip stopped by, West seemed most pleased to see that his work had the potential to be heard by passersby. Long after Jay-Z and Beyonce had stopped their all-out, hands-in-the-air dance-along to the vibrant album, West became excited when a city bus drove by and grabbed the microphone to remark on the fact that the event was "out here in the middle of New York City blasting music and nobody is shutting us down."

West also put one matter of confusion to rest: "I want to explain something about the album title. Simply put, 'West' was my slave name and 'Yeezus' is my god name."

By this point, hear the end of the second spin of the album, West was decidedly free-spirited, dancing and shaking hands with fans. It was easily his happiest public appearance in months, a period during which bloggers noted West's perma-scowl. At the start of the night, West seemed more antsy, rattling off a series of somewhat curious justifications, saying he didn't release singles because he didn't enjoy seeing his work on YouTube next to "related artists" ("When you buy a Louis-Vuitton bag..."), reminding fans that his father was in the Black Panthers and letting the crowd know that didn't hear Joy Division's music when he was growing up. It made sense at the time, but it was certainly a stream-of-consciousness diatribe.

"I had to learn about giving, this whole album is about giving -- this whole process is about giving ... no f--ks at all," West said after memorably explaining his new outlook as such: "I have a new strategy, it's called 'no strategy.' I have a plan to sell more music it's called 'make better music.'"

West revealed that Daft Punk worked on "three or four" songs on the album (including "Black Skinhead," "On Site" and "I Am a God"). Other details: Chief Keef, King Louie, Kid Cudi and Justin Vernon of Bon Iver appear on the record, C-Murder lines get sampled, as does Billy Holiday. Keef and Vernon actually appear on the same song, "Can't Handle My Liquor," which West revealed was added and rounded out the album to 10 tracks. West confirmed that Rick Rubin was brought in to help finish the album, a development West said was a blessing and an inspirational experience ("Everything I've been doing, from the 'New Slaves' video to the album with no artwork, I've been thinking, 'What would Rick Rubin do'?").

All in all, it was a triumphant night for West, who made sure to give every member of his team a shout-out and reminded the audience to surround themselves with the best. "If I'm standing next to someone, that means they're smarter than me," he said, shirt soaked with sweat, before leaving a bit past midnight. "If I'm standing next to someone, that means they're better at something than I am."

"Yeezus" is out June 18 on Def Jam. There are no pre-release singles or pre-orders.

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